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This Game Is Rated M For Mom
(The first Xbox has just came out. Dad buys it for my sister and I as a Christmas present. It comes with three games, one of them Halo, to which Mum promptly becomes addicted.)
Me:*walking to the kitchen to get a drink; the living room is filled with the sound of sporadic assault rifle fire* “Hey, mum.”
Mum: “Mmm.”
(She is looking very focused. Suddenly, her face lights up.)
Mum: “Yes! I did it!”
Me: “Did what?” *I go to see what this achievement is*
Mum: *proudly* “That!”
(She’s painstakingly etched a swear-word on a wall with the assault rifle.)
Me: “Good job, mum.”
Mum: *cheerfully* “Okay, time to go back to killing things!”
Read more funny stories at NotAlwaysRelated.com!:(Source: notalwaysrelated.com)
Star Trek Into Sherlock
(I’ve recently introduced my brother to the BBC show ‘Sherlock’, in which Benedict Cumberbatch plays the titular detective. We go to see the new movie ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’, and are discussing Cumberbatch’s character as we leave. My brother doesn’t usually get my pop culture references.)
Brother: “I can see the appeal, though. He’s strong, intelligent, capable, and driven.”
Me: “Too bad he’s a complete psychopath.”
Brother: “I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research!”
(I burst out laughing, and have to sit in the car for a minute before I am able to regain enough composure to drive.)
Read more funny stories at NotAlwaysRelated.com!:(Source: notalwaysrelated.com)
In The Twilight Of Their Youth, Part 4
(My dad is on the phone with my aunt. They get on to the subject of vampire movies. I’m sitting on the couch, reading.)
Dad: “What? Twilight? No, the girls don’t like it.”
(Dad turns his attention to me.)
Dad: “Your aunt wants to know why you and your sister don’t like Twilight.”
(I stare for a few seconds, then speak loud enough for my aunt to hear.)
Me: “Is she serious? Meyer’s writing is atrocious, her characters are totally unlikeable and unbelievable. ‘Ed-tard’ is a stalker who is also an emotionally abusive jerk. Bella is a b**** who is completely oblivious to things that happen to her own body; such as not realizing when she has stopped breathing. Would she like for me to go on?”
Dad: “No, she says that’s enough.”
Related:
In The Twilight Of Their Youth, Part 3
In The Twilight Of Their Youth, Part 2 (From Not Always Romantic)
In The Twilight Of Their Youth (From Not Always Right)
The items in the box Kelly and Maddie burried
NCIS Requiem
WHO THE BLOODY FUCK THOUGHT THIS WAS REMOTELY OK
I’m sobbing over a fucking push pop this is not okay
(via jimmy-palmerr)
I like how the ex-best friend wanted back on the site I made after the one we made together died. Told me her friends were all self centered, but it sounded like she was just talking about herself. Because 1) she no longer comes on the site to do anything, 2) she bought some monitor to further her gaming and waste her time, 3) she’s still just as stupid……
I wonder if she realizes that Down syndrome is a genetic mutation and an extra chromosome…. For someone who is going to be a nurse, its sad when a Criminal Justice major knows that and not a nursing major….. Sad times. Yep.
100 favorite Doctor Who quotes [34/100]
→ Falling in love? That didn’t even occur to him?Oh god, there is so much meaning behind this quote and this scene, holy balls…
this whole game is comedy gold
